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The Principle that inspires many inventions is to find a solution to a problem. But in some instances the problem proves not to have been worth the solving, or the solution itself is so complicated or unreliable that is cannot be applied. And some inventions have not provided the breakthrough their creators envisioned.

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For example, in 1878 Thomas Alva Edison obtained a patent for a voice-activated motor for sewing machines and other appliances. Edison had developed the idea after a friend told him that her pedal-operated sewing machine tired her.

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www.earlyofficemuseum.com/dictating_machines.htm

With Edison’s invention all the operator had to do was to maintain a constant stream of sound, which a “vocal engine,” or “phonomotor,” converted into power. Edison’s friend, however, found constant talking even more fatiguing than pedaling.

Rude Awakenings

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Other inventors have tackled the problem of walking up every morning. Proposed solutions have ranged from devices that tip one out of bed to those that shower a person with cold water.

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A more gentle approach was adopted by Samuel S. Applegate of New Jersey in 1882. He devised an alarm clock that was connected to a frame by a series of gears. From the frame dangled 60 cork blocks “sufficient to awaken the sleeper, but not heavy enough to cause pain.” When the alarm rang, the corks fell on the sleeper’s head.

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Getting the baby to sleep was solved in 1971 by a Californian, Thomas V. Zalenka. His invention, to be attached to the site of the crib, was an electric motor that operated a rod with a gloved hand to pat the baby’s bottom.

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Other domestic problems have also merited the attention of various ingenious inventors. In 1897 a British-designed, pedal driven shower was on display at the Paris Bicycle Exhibition. The harder one pedaled, the stronger the gush of water that flowed from the shower.

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“Make a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door,” wrote Ralph Waldo, Emerson in 1871. In 1908 Joseph Barad and Edward E. Markoff of providence, Rhode Island, attempted to fulfill Emerson’s prediction with the humane “bell-rat.”

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The invention consisted of a framed structure, pulleys connected to bait, and collar with a bell. As the rodent nibbled the bait, it activated a device that slipped the noisy collar around the creature’s neck. In theory, the rat would return to the nest and frighten away other members of its family.

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And what if the house caught fire? Benjamin B. Oppenheimer of Trenton, Tennessce, offered his aid in 1879. Anyone trapped in a blazing building could strap Oppenheimer’s patented parachute to his head, slip on the accompanying heavily cushioned shoes, and the jump fearlessly out of the window to safety.

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Turn of the century security devices included a burglarproof bicycle seat. Invented in 1900 by Adolph A. Neubauer, the seat sported a sharp spike that projected through it. Naturally, the owner could unlock the lethal-looking weapon, but a would-be thief received a salutary lesson.

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A similar principle was employed in Frank P. Snow’s 1914 hat protector. Unaware of the presence of a spike inside the rim, a hat thief could receive a shock.

Simple but Strange

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Some of the simplest inventions are nonetheless the most extraordinary. In 1903 Andrew Jackson, Jr., of Munich, Tennessee, was granted a patent for spectacles for chickens. Not intended to aid eyesight, they were described as eye-protectors “so that (fowls) may be protected from other fowls that might attempt to peck them.”

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Military requirement have resulted in innumerable strange gadgets, but few are as unusual as that made by Jones Wister of Philadelphia. During World War I, Wister devised a weapon intended to revolutionize trench warfare: a rifle that could shoot around corners. Its curved extension would fit the barrel of a conventional rifle; a periscope replaced the standard sights.

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Although there is no evidence that Wister’s invention was ever used, a similar attachment that appeared during World War II, the krummlauf, was actually used by German troops.

Comfort for All

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An odd device patented in Britain in 1904 by a Prussian count, Vladimir Skorzewski, was a compressed air walking assister. It consisted of a seat and handlebars, shock absorbers, and leg extensions and soles attached to stirrups. The count’s notion was that the shock absorbers at the contraption’s joints would function much like a series of miniature pogo sticks. The user could bound along the street and still enjoy the comforts of sitting down while “walking.”

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Should a user’s feet become heated, Miguel Villacampa of Argentina had the answer. In 1905 he introduced the ventilated shoe heel; it contained a pump that circulated air around the foot. 

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Inventors have often attempted to devise novel forms of entertainment. A device patented by a Belgian, Eduard Wulff, in 1904, was described as an “acrobatic apparatus for animals.” An animal was to be led onto a platform and strapped into a quick-release body belt; when the spring was released, the creature would be launched upward and turn a somersault in midair.

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Wulff specified the animals for which the apparatus was designed. The list included monkeys (they might have performed the feat); and elephants. Apart from the problems involved in constructing an apparatus capable of catapulting so large a pachyderm, the idea of an animal that weight five or more tons performing an airborne somersault and then landing on its feet is mind-boggling.

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Another circus invention, also dating from 1904, was the loop-the-loop bicycle, with one inverted on top of the other. The rider, wedged between the two seats, was to hurtle down a ramp, shoot off it, and then land on a nearby platform – upside down. There is no evidence that any daredevil ever put Lange’s invention to the test.