Higgs Boson Scientists Read My Mind

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there has been a recent discovery in physics called the Higgs Boson (named after Peter Higgs). The discovery was that there is a particle inside matter that gives it mass. I think it may just be a coincidence but just a few weeks ago I started thinking about matter, because I really had nothing else to do with my time, and I came to the conclusion that matter could not be by itself. That matter needs something inside of it to make it mobile and basically allow anything to exist.

Now I bet you could imagine my reaction to reading about the Higgs Boson discovery. From this article I came to the conclusion of two things: First; I’m thinking down the correct path and should continue to do so, and second; scientists have also perfected a mind reading device. I mean it is possible, why would they tell us that they can read everyone’s minds? Everyone would start wearing little caps made lead and that would make brain cancer rates go up, and no one wants that.. except for pharmaceutical companies that is. So basically what I plan to do is buy a radiation suit and a build a bunker out of lead and live out the rest of my days where my brain is safe from mind reading devices.