I’ve noticed that everything that I’ve been through in the past, say, year or so has changed me quite a bit. I mean, everyone tells you that everything happens for a reason and so on, but even when they say it they don’t necessarily believe it themselves. They might have a couple of scenarios that they look back at and say “oh I see” but the hardest part in truly believing that, is when you’re in the middle of something that you can’t really see the point of. Personally, I have a very delicately balanced mixture of philosophies. I believe that we create the world around us, in almost every aspect, but I also believe that everything happens for a reason. I know those are two completely contradictory ideas that can’t really be linked together without one or the other losing at least some portion of merit.

Let’s take a look at the double slit experiment, which is a mind boggling thing in the field of quantum physics. Quantum physics by the way definitely falls under the WTF category. I recommend googling a video of the double slit experiment if you plan to understand what I’m about to say, I’m going to explain but if you’re like me you’re going to need to at least see a diagram. The double slit experiment is a study of interference patterns in particles  and waves when passed through one or two slits in, say, a piece of metal. The idea is that a wave passed through will create an interference pattern when passed through two slits, as it passes through both then meets on the other side, and the separated wave bounces off of itself from that point on. A particle, however, when passing through two slits will go through one or the other, kind of like a stencil. With me? No? Didn’t think so, but here it gets interesting. When a photon or electron particle is passed through in the double slit experiment, it will pass through the single slit or not at all when only one is available, however, when both are open, it causes an interference pattern, thus behaving like a wave. Impossible right? Well it gets more impossible. The reason this occurs is because instead of choosing which slit to travel through, the particle passes through both at the same time, reconnecting on the other side. What’s more is that when the behavior is observed by the person conducting the experiment, it no longer happens, and the particle acts as a particle again. This is important for several reasons. This means that these particles completely defy the laws of space and time, and they also know when they are being observed and thus react the way we think they should.

Now wtf am I going on about and what on earth does this have to do with anything??

Well to me this means that the simple act of perceiving something changes it, and things react the way we believe they should. I know this doesn’t apply to everything, certainly we can be surprised, but considering the fact that our bodies are a mass of electrons, it’s certainly pertinent. This means that we are constantly affecting the world around us with our consciousness, thus making it what we think it should be (See also Masaru Emoto, some interesting things there if you’ve never heard of him). Also, in the midst of my ponderings the other night, I considered the possibility that we also react the same as these particles when faced with a decision. If these particles do not obey the laws of space and time, it is completely feasible that we do not either, as we are simply a mass of particals. So perhaps, just perhaps, when faced with a decision, we split, and in reality make both decisions, we simply follow the stream of consciousness that was correct for us. In this way we experience both outcomes in different time lines, in different space, but simultaneously, as in this case time is fluid and not exact. Of course this could never be proven or disproven, because simply trying to observe it would cause it to no longer happen. Our consciousness, again, impacts the outcome depending on our perception and expectations.

To me this is just a scientific approach to fate, and the idea that we impact it (and everything else) simply by being aware of our own existence. To me, science, God, and magic are all the same. The things I’ve experienced over the past year have been horrific and would be traumatizing I’m sure, to some extent, but in retrospect I see where the lines of the web connect, and am amazed. Because of this, I don’t believe there’s anything I can’t handle. I’m well aware. I’m one of those people that says everything happens for a reason and fucking believes it no matter what kind of mess I’m in. I wouldn’t be experiencing it if it wasn’t correct. There is no point in grief, no point in anger, or sadness. I’m just like a kid in the back seat of a car on a long trip. I might not know where the fuck I am, why I’m here, or where I’m going, but that’s not going to stop me from enjoying the journey. Sometimes you’ve just got to trust the person that’s driving, and know that you have the ability to say ‘pull over’ whenever the hell you want.

To sum it all up, I quote The Beatles. “There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re supposed to be… it’s easy… all you need is love. (bum buh da-da dah)”

If you actually managed to get through all of that, Kudos to YOU.