Research shows that some mammals release hormones like humans do when “falling in love.” Many animals also “flirt” like teens by partaking in actions such as singing, dancing, offering gifts, spraying chemical perfumes, dressing up, and fighting over each other. Also, in the Animal Kingdom as well as in the human realm, males “show off” and females judge how suitable the admirer is before committing to mating. There is a conflict between males and females in what you may call animal “personal ads.” Males want to mate with as many females as possible with the goal of fertilizing the most eggs. Females are a little more selective, preferring to hookup with the best males to fertilize eggs. And you thought we were the only ones with these problems? Read on to find out more about animal courting rituals and mating behavior. 

Let’s begin by kicking things off with the penguins. Adélie penguins are the epitome of monogamy. The male begins his wooing by rolling a stone to his potential partner’s feet. If the female accepts the gift, the couple stand breast to breast, throw their heads back and sing loudly while flapping their wings. After copulating with each other, neither one of them will mate again for a year. Even more interesting, after several months apart, the female can still distinguish their partner’s vocal displays through the cries of other males. Sometimes, if the pair can find each other again the next year, they will remain lovers. As sweet as this breed sounds, not all penguins are faithful. In some penguin species, the females, even when in a committed relationship, will exchange sexual favors with strange males for the pebbles they need to build their nests. Apparently, stones are hard to come by during mating season what with all the rock rolling and nest building.

The Birds of Paradise have an eye catching mating ritual. Each feathered friend has their own shrill cry and unique attention grabbers; including flapping, puffing up, and jumping. The video speaks for itself.

Their process is truly incredible to watch. The male Bower birds also work hard to attract a mate. Their efforts are more like that of an artist rather than that of a model. These birds begin by clearing an area of earth. Next, they design a complex and highly decorated structure of sticks and leaves. Some make a walkway or maypole and others create a small hut. Then, they incorporate a variety of monotone objects; blue is the most common color of choice.

The objects chosen range from hundreds of shells, leaves, flowers, feathers, stones, berries, and even pieces of plastic or glass. The birds spend hours perfecting their creation. When mating time arrives, the female will go from bower to bower. She will watch the male owner present an elaborate mating ritual and also inspect the quality of his bower. Many females end up selecting the same male. The majority of males whose presentations were less than impressive are left without a mate, sadly. The Manakins, a different bird type, have a song and dance mating call. Their dance is the most entertaining part of their routine. The birds have a move that consists of small steps backwards the appears to resemble the Moonwalk.

     Moving on from the birds to the bees. The honey bee’s reproductive cycle is complex and fascinating. It begins with the queen, selectively bred in a special “queen cell” where she is fed royal jelly and induced to become sexually mature. The virgin queen then takes a mating flight with a dozen or so male drones, out of the tens of thousands in the colony. But if you think these males are the lucky ones, you may be mistaken. During mating, their genitals snap off inside the queen! Ouch. The snapped off penis acts as a plug to prevent other drones from fertilizing the queen. However, I’m not sure what is more important to that poor male: having intact genitalia or knowing his efforts resulted in fertilizing the queen. Flatworms have a different approach. These creatures are hermaphrodites, which means each individual produces both eggs and sperm. However, they cannot inseminate themselves. When two flatworms mate, they engage in a mating behavior known as penis fencing. What the flatworms do is fight with each other, trying to be the first to pierce the other’s skin with their penis. The victim, or loser, must then carry and nourish the fertilized eggs. Penis fencing, the next Olympic sport? While we’re on the subject of male genitalia, I’d like to throw in a fun fact comparison. The Gorilla is a big creature, but for its body size, that characteristic does not continue on below the belt. On the other end of the spectrum, the Argentine Lake Duck has the longest penis of all vertebrates for its body size. Erect, it is corkscrew shaped, can stretch out to be the length of the bird’s entire body, and can be used to lasso his partner.

 How’s that for a conversation starter?

If that doesn’t get you talking, what how about a joke? “How do porcupines do it? Very carefully.” Actually, it begins with the male urinating on the female! The male porcupine’s stream can extend to about six to seven feet. If the female accepts the spray, she will then lower her front end and raise her hindquarters allowing the male access for mounting. Although, if the female is inexperienced, this could be quite dangerous for the male, since these females don’t always lower all of their rear-end quills or move their barb like tail out of the way. Giraffes also incorporate urine into their mating rituals. They taste the females urine in order to detect estrus and judge fertility. Sipping urine like wine. Odd. The Bonobo are a very loving, if you will, creature. These chimps use sex as a cure all. It could be a greeting, a means to conflict resolution, or post-conflict reconciliation. When Bonobos come upon a new food source or feeding ground, the increased excitement will usually lead to communal sexual activity. Presumably, this is done to decrease tension and allow for peaceful feeding. Is this too much of a good thing, or a perfect social structure?

The female Hyena wears the pants. Maybe she should since her genitalia resembles that of the male. That’s right.

Her clitoris, which contains the birth canal, protrudes seven inches from her body and can be erected at will. This awkward genitalia makes it difficult for successful mating. As you can imagine, the males need an awful lot of practice to get it right. The Angler fish is the strangest and scariest looking fish in the sea.

With no light in the depths of the ocean, the only way to attract prey is with their illuminating tentacle. The females are the only ones who could do this, because the males are born without a digestive system. When the males are born, they find a female to attach themselves to. They do this by biting her and releasing a chemical that binds the two together. However, the male doesn’t remain whole. Over time, his body wastes away leaving only the testes. The mating occurs when her body releases eggs. The testes sense the hormonal change and react by releasing sperm to ensure fertilization. Not the most conventional approach, but it still does the job. Speaking of unconventional, let me introduce you to the Whiptail Lizard. Nearly all members of the species are female. Curious as to how they reproduce? The answer: cloning. Of course, they do enact in pseudocolpulation. Both lay eggs, but the offspring are genetic clones of the mother. That must be rough to hear, “You’re just like your mother!” Literally.

Mating. We all need to do it. We all do it, somehow. Animals and humans aren’t quite so different after all. This was only a glimpse into the world around us. Mating behavior and courting rituals are interesting and often quite elaborate. It’s just the birds and the bees. The birds put on awesome displays. Bees have detachable penises. The Bonobos just do it all the time. And us humans share characteristics that resemble our own form of courting strategies. The Animal Kingdom and the human realm will always be one in the same when it comes to mating.